Thursday, 21 November 2013

Manji ik tey jawanian do (One Bed And Two Hot Youngsters)



The moral degeneration of the West is complete and comprehensive. The lack of any moral and ethical principles and a culture of wine, sex and nudity would shortly destroy the whole Western civilization.

This is your host Agha Mohammad Yahya Khan from channel ‘HAQ’ and we are going to discuss the moral bankruptcy of the West.

Today we have our panelists; the emergent threat to the West Mr. Zaid Hamid, the great ‘transformer’ and PhD in Hadis Sciences Ms. Farhat Hashmi of al-Huda fame, a PhD from some obscure Spanish university, Dr. Aamir Liaqat Hussain, and the great champion of political Islam or Islamic politics Molvi Munawar Hassan of Jamaat-e-Islami. We also have master craftsman Molvi Fazal-ur-Rahman and the saintly actress Nargis who has recently performed Haj. We also have Dr. Shaitan, an atheist, as an analyst.

Yahya: Zaid Saab what do you think of the moral decline of the Western society?

Zaid Hamid: The West has gone to dogs and that foreshadows the complete dominance of Islam over the West. Look at the obscene dresses their women put on. They wear micro skirts. Have you seen the deep V front party dress? Or the low rise hot pants. And those sexualized undergarments like the hipster, the boy shorts or the G-string. Oh my God those morally corrupt people are doomed.

Farhat Hashmi: They also kiss in public. Didn’t you see Prince William kissing Kate Middleton in front of the whole world? Is it not pornography? Thank God it was not a French kiss or a Tongue kiss.

Dr.Shaitan: But Sir in almost half the Muslim countries women do wear skirts and that is part of their culture. Even in Muslim societies we find cultural differences. A Bengali woman in a sari with a visible belly cannot even think of exposing her legs. On the other hand a Tajik woman would hide her belly but would find it absolutely normal to wear a skirt and expose her legs, while both are Muslims. Kissing in public is also a cultural norm, so please do not confuse culture with obscenity. As for female undergarments you don’t need to worry about them, they don’t hurt you.

Dr Aamir Liaqat: They also make blue prints and XXX films. This is height of moral degradation. They are spoiling us and the whole world.

Dr. Shaitan: Sir, blue prints are not meant for everybody. In the West they make sure through law that these are not accessible to young children. However, I suppose the local theatre in Lahore and other cities which have lot of sex is perhaps accessible to everybody and there is no age limit. Desi blue prints are also available in almost all our video markets. I do remember the BP’s of Hala Farooqui and Ayesha Shahbaz of NCA Lahore which had become very popular in the 80’s. Perhaps they were made here. I also remember X-rated clips of actress Rozina and Arzoo in the 70’s.Widely viewed, they were also locally made.

Molvi Fazalur Rahman: I could not see them. Can you lend me those for a few days? I will get the copies and return them back.

Molvi Munawar: Please get a copy for me too.

Nargis: If you happen to see my dance, you will forget everything.

Aamir Liaqat: After the recording, please.

Molvi Munawar: They run huge brothel houses. The red light district of
Amsterdam is one of the largest in Europe. Is this not disgusting?

Molvi Fazalur Rahman: Yes sure! And I have seen girls from Muslim countries like Tunis, Algeria and Morocco being made to work in those brothel houses.

Dr.Shaitan: Sir nobody is forced to work in those brothels. All the sex workers there generally opt for the profession. However I do feel that no woman adopts this profession willingly even if she says so. As for size I suppose it is not as big as Lahore’s Heera Mandi and perhaps many of the girls there are forced into prostitution. However let me inform you that in the West these women have rights which no women enjoys in our red light areas.

Nargis: Do you know Heera Mandi has working stations everywhere in Lahore, right from Johar Town to Allama Iqbal Town, to Islampura, to Mustafaabad. So if you include the field offices it will be even bigger than the biggest red light area in Europe and America.

Amir Liaqat: You are right 42nd Street is just a small street in New York City.
Zaid Hamid: They also drink wine which is ‘haram’. They also indulge in fellatio and cunnilingus which is death of any morals whatsoever.

Dr.Shaitan: Sir I do not know if wine is ‘haram’ or not because nowhere in the religious text has it been declared so. Moreover ‘nabeez’ was a common wine which was widely consumed in the Arab Peninsula during and after the advent of Islam, even by some of the most revered personalities. As for oral sex, it’s a very private matter of one’s personal choice.

Zaid Hamid: But it is not allowed in Islam!

Dr.Shaitan: Ok then don’t do it.

Aamir Liaqat: I have reservations. Oral sex is allowed in Islam. The Sahih Hadith of Al-Muwatta Imam Muhammad argues that the ‘act is not impure.’ Scholars such as Muhammad al-Shaybani have also cited several opinions from Abu Hanifa an-Nauman. Dr. Heba Kotb, a Sunni female scholar who gives sex advice on Egyptian TV, says that oral sex is allowed ‘since there is no religious text banning it.’ The Malikis also allow licking stating that there is no harm in it, and it is not ‘makruh.’ Malik ibn Anas the Islamic jurist said that there is nothing wrong in it.
Farhat Hashmi: Abu Abdullah Bin Ismail Bukhari in ‘jild chaharam’ of ‘Sahi Bukhari’ has categorically allowed licking.

Nargis: ‘Please aisi baatein na karain mujhay sharam aa rahi hai.’

Molvi Fazlur Rahman: What does ‘Sahi Bukhari’ say about sex with a boy? I suppose we will be getting ‘ghilmans’ in ‘jannah’….
(Yahya cuts him short)

Yahya: Viewers we go on a commercial break. Stay with us.
(After the break) 

Ok so the West is on a suicidal mission and we are much better off than the West as regards morality. I think we have covered all areas of morality and I don’t think anything of any significance is left for discussion.

Dr.Shaitan: I beg your pardon sir! The real issues of significance have yet to be discussed. Does your concept of morality begin and end with women clothing and sex. What about respect for human life, attitude towards other human beings, courtesy and humility, compassion and kindness, care for the sick and support for the needy, patience and tolerance, forgiveness and rising above the trivial, adherence to law, respect for rules and regulations, modesty and decency, truthfulness, honesty, commitment to one’s profession, contractual obligations, respect for human rights, minority rights, animal rights, social security of the underprivileged, the preponderance of rational thought over raw emotions. Please go and see for yourself and you will find that these are the values which characterize modern Western society. Meanwhile do feel free to preserve your values of lies, intolerance, discourtesy, hypocrisy, cheating, adulteration, corruption, dishonesty, domestic abuse, child labor and vigilante justice. And make sure that ‘karo kari’, ‘wani’, acid throwing, and honor killing continue.

Dr.Shaitan addressing Zaid Hamid,Aamir Liaqat and Farhat Hashmi :

And look at your personal conduct. What have you done practically for the uplift of the poor and the downtrodden of our society except giving sermons for which you charge heavy amounts?

Dr.Shaitan looking towards Molvi Munawar & Molvi Fazlur Rahman:
And you strive for power and money through the ‘gateway’ of Islam. Your party Jamaat-e-Islami made billions during Afghan war and when the supply line came to an end, turned against the Americans. And Molvi Fazal Saab you sell party tickets and permits. And you are constantly touring Europe and the Americas on state expense just to have fun. You also perform ‘umrahs’ on your way back while extravagantly spending money squeezed from the poorest of the poor belonging to this ill-fated country.

What a shame! And you believe that you are qualified to determine the parameters of morality for the whole world. Please do some introspection and see where you stand before you judge others.

‘This man does not know how to address scholars and leaders.’ All participants cried in unison.
Yahya hastily concludes the recording.

Meanwhile the sounds of sirens are heard nearby. The producer enters the room and informs ‘a bomb has exploded in Jinnah Super Market causing several casualties. The injured are being rushed to the main hospital. Dr.Shaitan, the atheist, immediately takes off his mike, leaves the recording room and heads for the exit door.

Yahya: I think we can have tea or coffee in my room.

Aamir Liaqat: Don’t you remember Nargis promised to show us her dance.
Oh yes, everybody yells.

Nargis comes on the floor, takes off her sandals and the producer switches on the tape recorder. She starts shuffling on the song ‘manji ik tey jawanian do, way kathyan sona paya’

The entire panel gets deeply engrossed in her voluptuous moves. The music is hard and heavy and quickly muffles the sound of sirens emanating from the passing by ambulances.

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